An Unbreakable Bond

Raph's POV

Walking through this grass pains me, I don't want to be here and yet I am... Every step sends a shiver through my body, but I can't turn away not when I've come this far. The first chills of Fall are nothing compared to the sorrow and cold that lies in my heart. I can feel the tears running down my face, past my red mask, and to the ground covered in the beautiful leaves. You always loved fall, you didn't really like the cold, but you loved seeing the leaves change colors and when they started falling to the ground all you wanted to do was lay in a big pile of them.

Walking a little farther, I find the spot I'm looking for. I take a shakey breath before kneeling down in the grass. I wipe away the leaves and pine needles that cover your grave. My chest tightens as I read your name. Leonardo Hamato, a loving mate, brother, and son. I lay the roses I brought for you beside your name. Red roses are your favorite, you would tell me they reminded you of me, my warmth and my love, then you would always start laughing and say they matched my mask as well. I'd always role my eyes at you, but honestly I would give anything to hear your laugh again. 

In fact I would do anything just to feel your skin next to mine as I hold you in my embrace, to see your beautiful blue eyes look into my brown ones. To watch you smile and to feel your lips against my own. Just to have you by my side again. I'm forced to look away I...I can't do this...

Turning back towards you I open my eyes and take a breath as I try to find my voice... but I can't find the words.... After you were gone my world shattered into a million pieces. I felt alone. Eventually though I had to hide my pain enough to take care of our brothers. To lead them. I don't want that position anymore.... I haven't wanted it for years... especially if it means you're not here. 

You left this world so suddenly..... The day you went missing I just had a feeling I'd never see you again, and when we found you beat up and broken, there was blood everywhere. And yet you still managed a smile when I pulled you into my arms... my heart breaking when Donnie said it was too late and I had to accept that. We brought you home and did our best to make you comfortable in your last hour. I never left your side.... I couldn't.
Donnie and Mikey said their goodbyes before leaving the room to give of us our time. 

"I'll never really be gone Raphie, I'll always be with you" you whispered. All I could do was nod my head as the tears streamed down my face

"I love you Raphie." The last words that left your mouth and in your last few breaths I whispered I love you too.

I find myself shaking as I remember that so recent memory.... I run my hand over your grave stone, the cold hard ground does nothing to help me remember the warm that always filled my heart every moment I was with you. 

"Leonardo, I love you... and I miss you." 

The shaking of my body intensifies and I'm confused. I fall backwards onto the ground the shaking never stopping. Am I dying too?
........................................................................................................................................................................

"Raphael wake up!!!" 

My body lurches forward, the blankets falling towards the end of the bed. Slowly the room comes into focus and I look around only to find big blue eyes looking at me with concern. The tears start falling from my eyes and I pull you into my embrace.

"Raphie, please stop crying." You whisper before pressing your lips against my own. I push you back towards our pillows before breaking the kiss.

You wipe the tears away from my face and you just lay there waiting for me to say something. But I don't know where to start.

"I kept shaking you, but you wouldn't wake up." You say quietly and I close my eyes laying down next to you.

"I was visiting your grave.... When I truly thought you were dead." I whisper and I feel your grip tighten on my hand.

"Raph I'm so sorry you had to go through that." 

"It was so realistic Leo, they...they even made your heart stop beating."

"I know." you say kissing my cheek. 

"Shredder is an awful person and the chemicals they injected into my body were so painful, I believed I was dying. If Karai never told you the truth, everyone would still think I'm dead and I would still be kept prisoner in foot headquarters." You say and I can feel the tears dripping down your face. 

"I'm just glad your alive... I can't live without you.... I love you Leonardo."

"And I love you too Raphael." you say and I kiss your lips again.

"Come on let's go outside, before everyone else is up." I say slipping out of our warm bed and you follow me without question. 

We quietly leave the old farmhouse and make our way into the trees. I see a huge Red and Yellow Leaf laying on the ground, I pick it up and hand it to you.

"Here you can keep this one forever." I say as we sit down on our little porch swing that looks over the river. You smile and I pull you closer too me, wrapping my arm around your shoulders. You lean into my embrace and curl your legs up on the swing.

"I know exactly what book to put this in." 

"Oh and which one is that?" I ask running my hand up and down your arm.

"Our book of memories, it will lay perfectly next to the picture of us sitting next to the fireplace." You say with a smile

"I don't think we have a picture like that Leo."

"Yes we do, Mikey took it last night while we were dozing off. That picture just makes me truly realize, nothing will ever truly separate us Raphie.. Not the purple dragon, not the foot, not even death itself. Because our love for each other can not be killed. And this leaf will always remind me of the time of year that picture was taken." You say with the most loving smile it takes my breath away. I lean nuzzle my face against yours.

"I don't think you could describe that any better" I say giving you a passionate kiss.

Fall truly is the most beautiful time of year.